How to Spot and Avoid Scammers on Dating Sites

Online dating scams affect thousands of people every year.

In fact, it’s so popular and widespread that multiple shows on TV document the heartbreak that these scams often bring about. Because it is heartbreaking. After going through the trials of putting yourself out there, conversing with someone new, feeling hopeful for a connection, investing time and money – only to end up with nothing but a painful lesson, it can hurt a lot.

If you’ve ever had the misfortune of learning that painful lesson after falling victim to an online scam artist, it’s one we hope you never have to learn again. So, for those who have experienced it and others new to the online dating arena that want to be wary of the scammers that exist, we’ve compiled a list of ways to spot and avoid them so that your next love story is real, not some reality show drama.

Who Do Online Dating Scams Target?

The truth is, anybody can fall victim to an online dating scam. The longer these platforms have existed, the more time scammers have spent learning how to slip past moderation rules and catch someone hopeful of a connection off guard. Because of that, you never need to feel guilty or foolish if you have been taken in by a fake profile. Many of these scammers operate as full-time professionals in manipulation and deception.

5 Red Flags to Know to Help You Spot & Avoid a Scammer

1. Profile is Too Good to Be True

If anything on the internet seems too good to be true, it probably is. There are a few signs you should keep an eye out for when looking at a potential match’s online dating profile.

Many scammer profiles include:

• Very few photos, or pictures that look as though they belong in a glossy fashion catalogue rather than on a Tuesday night in the local pub.
• Sparse personal details, vague answers about where they live, or conveniently high-travel jobs (such as overseas military deployment, offshore engineering or international consultancy) that explain why they are never around.
• A location that suddenly shifts to another country, even though you filtered for singles in your area.

2. They Try to Get Serious Fast

Something common among many online scammers is their desire to get far too serious, far too fast. Many will drop the big “I love you” or call you their soulmate before you have even spoken on the phone or seen their face in person. Known as love-bombing, this tactic is designed to lower your guard so you feel comfortable sharing personal details. Some fraudsters also fish for the sort of trivia that unlocks bank accounts or email passwords – your mother’s maiden name, your first pet, the street you grew up on or where you bank. Genuine chemistry can develop quickly, of course, but be cautious about the personal and financial information you hand over to someone you have not yet met.

3. They Try to Lure Your Conversation Off the Dating Site

Online dating scammers, especially the dreaded catfishes – people who claim to be someone else entirely through online profiles – will very often ask you to move your conversation outside of the dating platform that you met each other on.

The problem with moving too quickly is that reputable dating sites use moderation tools and fraud detection to help protect you from scammers, and by leaving the platform straight away you lose that layer of safety. If a scammer persuades you to switch to WhatsApp, Instagram or Facebook after only three messages, their fake profile can be deleted or banned on the dating site while they carry on working on you in private. Moving onto social media or your personal mobile number can also hand them extra details about your surname, workplace and family that they did not have before.

4. They Ask for Money

Always be wary of anyone on a dating platform who asks for money, financial favours or help moving funds. That sounds obvious in the abstract, yet scammers rarely ask for cash on day one. They spend weeks building trust and sharing an elaborate backstory so that when a crisis strikes, you feel like the only person who can save them. Today’s requests do not just involve bank transfers; Report Fraud warns that you should never send money to someone you have only met online, including vouchers, cryptocurrency or money for investments [1]. You might hear stories like:

• “I can come to visit you next week if you can just help me cover the train or plane ticket.”
• “My bank card has been frozen while I’m working abroad – could you pick up a couple of vouchers and send me the codes to tide me over?”
• “It’s not a huge amount, my child is unwell and I’m just short on the rent this month.”
• “I’ve been making a brilliant return on this crypto platform and I can show you how to invest your savings too.”
• “I’m deployed overseas in the military and need a fee paid before my leave or pension can be released.”

5. They Avoid the Real World with You

One of the clearest signs that something is amiss is a match who is endlessly keen to message you all day, yet adamant about avoiding real-time contact. Perhaps their phone camera is conveniently broken every time you suggest a five-minute video chat, or their work connection is supposedly too confidential for a voice call. If they plan to visit you, a sudden drama – a cancelled flight, a hospital dash, a detained parcel – always crops up at the last minute to stop them arriving.

Of course, normal daters can be nervous or busy too, so it helps to look at the wider pattern of behaviour rather than a single rearranged date.

4 Tips on What to Do if You Suspect a Scammer

1. Run a Reverse Image Search

Checking whether a match’s profile photo pops up elsewhere online is a quick way to spot stolen pictures. If you are browsing on a computer or mobile browser, you can check an image on a webpage using Google Lens. On an Android phone or tablet in Chrome, touch and hold the image and tap “Search image with Google Lens” [2]. If you are using one of the popular smartphone dating apps where you cannot hold and tap a photo directly, take a screenshot of the profile picture first; on Android, you can open a new Chrome tab, tap the Google Lens icon in the search bar, and select the screenshot from your device’s screenshots or images to see where else that photo appears [2].

Sometimes it can even be a free (or paid for) stock image!

Keep in mind that a reverse image search is a useful sense-check rather than a cast-iron test: if the same face shows up under five different names, walk away, though an empty result does not automatically prove a profile is genuine.

2. Never Send Money

Draw a firm personal boundary before you even start swiping: you do not lend money, buy vouchers, transfer cryptocurrency or put money into investment schemes for anyone you have only met online [1]. A genuine match who runs into a financial hiccup will speak to their bank, their employer or their actual family and friends – not someone they matched with a fortnight ago. Even if you have met someone in person once or twice, treat any request for a loan or an urgent business transfer as a reason to step back.

3. Ask to Talk on the Phone or Video Chat

If someone seems reluctant to speak on the phone or hop on a quick video call, do not wait months to find out whether they are real. Suggest a brief five-minute video hello within the first week or two of chatting, before you invest your evenings and emotions into the connection. Most dating platforms now include built-in video calling, so you do not even need to share your phone number to do this.

Pay attention to whether their setup matches what they have told you. A foreign dialling code or an unfamiliar accent is not proof of a scam on its own – plenty of people in the UK have moved from abroad or use work phones – but if someone claims to be born and bred three miles down the road in Leeds, gives you an overseas number, refuses to turn their camera on and cannot name a single local landmark, trust your instincts.

4. Report the Scammer

If you strongly suspect a scammer – or if you realise you have fallen victim to one – please do not let embarrassment stop you from reporting it. Flagging the profile to the moderators on the dating site or app helps get the account shut down before they can target anyone else.

If you have already sent money or financial details, act straight away:

• Contact your bank immediately: Inform your bank as soon as possible, as they can help you prevent any further losses [1].
• Report the crime: In England, Wales and Northern Ireland, report romance fraud to Report Fraud by calling 0300 123 2040 or via their online reporting hub [1]. If you are in Scotland, report it directly to Police Scotland by calling 101 [1].

This can also help to keep you safe if for any reason you feel in danger by threats from the scammer.

Put Yourself & Your Privacy First

The unfortunate reality of online dating is that scammers and scam artists exist. Nearly anyone can be targeted if they are caught at the wrong moment, so one of the most important habits to keep is protecting your privacy. Do not share information that could be used to take advantage of you, and make sure you are confident that you know who is on the other side of the screen before letting them into your life.

And finally, we don’t say all of this to scare anyone. There are true and beautiful relationships born through online dating – but you should always put yourself and your privacy first with any online encounter to make sure you’re being safe, and to give you the best shot at finding a real connection.