How to Get a Girlfriend
Did this headline exactly match your Google search? Has life for you come down to hoping beyond all hopes that an advanced search algorithm will finally help deliver unto you that person you’ve wanted for so long? If so, then you might have just landed at the right place, because today’s blog is all about how to get a girlfriend.
Relationship Drought
If you’re searching “how to get a girlfriend” online, then chances are you haven’t been in a relationship for quite some time already. You might have a thousand things running through your mind at once, all of them desperately trying to rationalise the reasons you have thus far been unsuccessful with women:
- You’re hopeless on dates
- You’re not good looking enough
- You’re not rich and successful
- You don’t have a nice car
- You live with your parents
- You live alone but in a terrible dive
- And the list goes on and on…
These “drought” periods where it feels like you’ve gone a lifetime without being in a proper relationship are more normal than you’d think. Some relationship experts even recommend that if you’ve been through a breakup after a long-term relationship, you should have a full month of single life for every year you were together with that person before moving on. For many, however, that period gets extended beyond what we’d like.
How to Get a Girlfriend – Steps You Can Take
The truth is, the main reason you haven’t got a girlfriend is because you are being too passive. Girlfriends are not like buses or underground trains. When one leaves, you don’t just stand around waiting for the next one. As with all the of the best things in life that make us truly happy, we have to act in order to get them.
Step 1:
Sort Yourself Out
They do say that you have to sort your own house out before going and messing around in others’ houses. This applies to yourself. If you want to get a girlfriend, then you have to do everything you can to become the kind of person that women want.
This doesn’t mean you have to become a millionaire, drive an Aston Martin or purchase a swanky pad in London or Paris, but it does mean getting yourself together. Here’s the fast guide to “sorting yourself out”
- Clean up your living space – It will energise you and make you feel confident about bringing people into your home. No one wants to visit the rubbish-strewn cess-palace of a messy single person.
- Groom yourself – The power of a haircut and/or beard trimming and styling if you have one is greater than you’d know.
- Start a skin-care regime – Poor lifestyle has a detrimental effect on your skin, making it sallow, dry, even flaky or otherwise unpleasant.
- Update your wardrobe – You don’t need to be a fashionista, but fill your wardrobe with some nice new smart clothing: new shirts, a suit or two, new trousers and some new shoes. Nice clothing projects a good energy to which people are drawn.
Step 2:
Build Yourself Up
After taking some relatively simple steps of cleaning and tidying yourself and your home comes the bigger task of building yourself up into the kind of person with whom women want to be in a relationship.
Once again there are several things you can do to remedy this situation:
Build a Social Circle
When women see that you have constructed around you a tight circle of close (and admiring) friends, it works as a kind of proof of your social strengths. That’s a big point of attraction. You are the one with whom other people want to be with, so why wouldn’t a nice potential girlfriend want the same thing?
Build Life and Professional Experience
Another key thing to do is to actually go out and live your life. One of the key things that will help you both connect and stay with a new girlfriend is being able to share your life experience with her, and she with you. So, try some new and exciting experiences like bungee jumping, sky diving, mountain climbing or other outdoor pursuits. These are enjoyable ways to get great experiences that are interesting for others to hear.
The other thing to do is to invest more energy and thought into your career. You don’t have to sacrifice a social life in order to have a career that impresses people. Show that you care about something other than yourself; that you have goals and ambitions, and these things in themselves are great qualities.
Build Confidence
In doing all of the above, you will construct another pillar that will help hold you up in a place where women will see you — that is the pillar of confidence. Self-confident people who don’t cross the border into arrogance are much more attractive both to women and even when just trying to win friends and influence.
Step 3:
Put Yourself Out There
While you’re on your journey of self-improvement and growth, you need to simultaneously start putting yourself out there into the world, even if it’s only the online world at first. Sitting at home playing video games or even just reading or bingeing TV shows will never bring you a happy relationship.
Online Dating
Year ago, online dating was seen as something of a joke. People who engaged in it were often the subject of enormous derision as they were seen to be “scraping the barrel.” However, even back then, creators and supporters of these platforms always had in their minds the vision that online dating would sooner or later become the norm in society. The real reason for that is that online dating is actually an “alternative” to real-life dating, but rather an additional channel through which you can find people to go on real-life dates with.
Sign up with a reputable dating site and put out an honest, heartfelt and genuine profile. Include real photos, especially that are of you in real life as opposed to posing shots. Showing pictures of your life helps potential girlfriends to imagine themselves in your life. Be patient on the platform and see who you can connect with. You will likely find that withing a short time you are arranging real dates with people in your local area or nearby.
Going on Dates
You might have to go on quite a few dates before you find someone you feel comfortable with. Don’t try to stop yourself being nervous about the date. That anxiousness is a good thing, because it proves you care about what happens. When a good match is with you, the date will feel comfortable and conversation will flow more naturally. It’s a process of discovery and elimination, and it takes time.
When you are on dates, make sure you listen as much if not more than you speak. They say women appreciate good listeners, and that’s probably true, but it’s therefore better to be a genuinely good listener rather than to merely pretend listen.
Finally, on this point, make an effort to look nice for your date, and show courtesy and good manners to your new friend. Don’t forget, though, that your date is still just another human, and may have the same nervous feelings as you. There’s no need to think of the girl like she’s some goddess or other-worldly being. She’s human like you, so just be understanding, listen, and try to relax and enjoy the moment.
Step 4:
Exploring Connection and Chemistry
Once you’ve been on dates with a girl, it is important that you spend time exploring the connection that you have, and that should also include sexual chemistry. How you feel when you’re together socially is important, but so too is the sexual connection. It’s all part and parcel.
- Pay attention to how you feel when you’re with someone and when you’re not with them. If you look forward to them leaving you alone, then it’s not a boyfriend-girlfriend connection.
- If you’re serious about a girl you like, don’t leave her after sex. Spend the night together, have breakfast together, and show that there’s more to you than sex and the two of you might actually have a shot at building something real.
- Get together for anything and everything as much as you can. The more different activities you do together, the more you can see your compatibility and how well you complement each other.
Remember the old axiom, “opposites attract.” What it really means is that anyone who is going to be your girlfriend needs to have qualities that you lack, and vice versa. You might introduce more fun and socializing into her life, and she might introduce more order and planning into yours. To discover that kind of connection is truly “get the girl.”
Step 5:
Don’t Mess It Up!
The final step to getting a girlfriend is to not screw up a good connection by ghosting the girl, or chasing after more base pleasure at the cost of spending time and building a connection with her. If you are serious about having a girlfriend, then you have to make space an time in your life for it. If you aren’t willing to do that, then you’re destined to be single, which can be fine if you can deal with it. Just don’t complain when you’re constantly attending friends’ weddings as the single-guy friend.
Getting a Girlfriend Starts with You
At the end of the day, the entire process begins with you. Get yourself on the right track and you will eventually reach your goal of getting a girlfriend. Finally, we’d like to say one more time not to discount the world of online connection and dating. Don’t think of it as an alternate dating universe, but simply as another engine that can drive you to the destination of true love.
