How to Write the Perfect Description for Your Dating Profile

The hardest part of writing a dating profile description is the same thing most of us struggle with in job interviews: selling who we are, honestly. While you do not want to overload a prospective partner with a bullet-point checklist of your likes, dislikes and what you are looking for, you do want them to know a few of those things right off the bat.

When your profile text box only gives you space for a few short lines, how do you express who you actually are without sounding like a robot?

Though a dating profile description will always be unique to the person writing it, and what they’re looking for, there is also a bit of science to the structure—or, at least, method to the madness.

When it comes down to it, writing your ‘about me’ section should let a prospective match know just enough to get the basics across, spark their interest, and give them an easy reason to ask a question – all while remaining completely honest.

1. Brevity is the soul of a good bio

Shakespeare said it and here we are, hundreds of years later, still quoting it. Along with his sonnets and romantic plays, he knew a little something about love. That being said, do not quote Shakespeare in your description (unless you genuinely cannot resist expressing your love of theatre).

The key to a great profile description is keeping it short and sweet. While it should express a few key things about who you are and what you are looking for, it should not read like a biography. Some traditional dating sites give you room for several paragraphs, whereas many mobile dating apps keep things tight – Bumble, for example, caps its main bio at 300 characters and suggests sharing just one to three sentences of fun or unique details [1].

That being said, the best way to think of your profile description is as an elevator pitch for a job. In a succinct manner, lay out the fundamentals, and entice them to learn more.

2. Be conversational when you introduce yourself

Building on that first tip, write the way you actually speak. Instead of listing your qualities as you would on a CV, talk about them with the warmth of a good introduction. Since your name and age are already sitting at the top of the screen, you do not need to waste space with ‘Hi, my name is…’, and you certainly do not need ‘Managing Director, prolific golfer.’

Keep that conversational tone running throughout your description. Rather than a bullet-point list of your life story and accomplishments, think about how you would talk across the table on a first date. You do not spill everything in the first five minutes, but you do let on what matters most to you. Where you are flexible, sound relaxed; where you have firm boundaries, be clear.

You want someone who accepts who you are and what you value. Even though a good relationship helps both of you grow and learn from each other, building a warm, friendly foundation comes first.

3. Mention what you do (or how you view work)

Although a dry job title makes for a terrible opening line, it is still worth giving people a sense of how you spend your working week. If you are between jobs, studying or changing direction, be as straightforward as you feel comfortable being. Leaving that side of your life completely blank can sometimes make it look as if you are hiding something, even when your real reason is simply that your job is not the most interesting thing about you.

If that describes you, say so in your description. You are trying to find someone on a similar wavelength, so if you work to live rather than live to work, let them know.

4. Talk about your actual hobbies

When you are expanding on who you are, your hobbies do the heavy lifting. You and a prospective partner do not need to share every pastime, but it helps enormously to find some common ground. Mention the activities that genuinely make up your week rather than the ones you did once on holiday four years ago.

If you love to read, mention your favourite spot in the house or the local café where you take a paperback on a rainy Saturday. If you love cinema, name the film you always end up rewatching and when you first saw it. Specific hobbies work because they hand the other person an easy way to start a conversation.

If you can talk at length – and almost ad nauseam – about a particular subject, it is a brilliant feeling when someone else can jump right in with you.

5. Share your wider interests and values

While hobbies and interests often overlap, they are not identical. You might spend your weekends cycling or baking sourdough, while also caring deeply about local charities, community projects or how people look after the planet. You might have an experience in your past that shaped your worldview and how you treat the people around you.

If politics, the environment, or physical and mental wellbeing are important to you, do not feel you have to hide them. Even if an interest feels niche, it might be the exact reason the right person decides to message you first.

6. Avoid clichés

One of the most common lines you will spot on dating sites is the classic ‘I don’t know what to write here.’ While it might feel honest in the moment, it is a bit like post-modernism: it does not actually offer anything new, just commentary on the box itself.

Be honest about who you are, but try to steer clear of tired stock phrases on their own: ‘I love to travel’, ‘I love long walks on the beach’, or ‘I love my dog.’ None of those things is a flaw, of course, which brings us to the real fix.

7. Swap generalities for specifics

The trouble with those familiar lines is not the sentiment; it is that they could apply to almost anyone. Most people enjoy a holiday, plenty of us like a coastal walk, and anyone with a dog is understandably fond of them. To make travel, Sunday walks or your pet pull their weight in your bio, get into the details.

If you love to travel, mention a favourite trip or the place still sitting at the top of your list. If you like long walks, paint a quick picture of your favourite route. And if you adore your dog, share their name, where you got them or their most ridiculous habit.

All that being said, avoid clichés by avoiding general statements. Not that you have to buy into astrology, but to make things simple: if your description sounds like a generalised Zodiac reading, how can you make it sound like one attributable to your own, specific sign?

8. Stay positive about what you are looking for

Towards the end of your description, invite a prospective partner into your world. The easiest way to do that is with a warm prompt or question that makes replying effortless. Even if you have been single or scrolling longer than you hoped, your bio is not the place to vent frustration about ghosting, time-wasters or the state of modern dating.

While they might feel honest, they lend an impression of you that you might not hope to portray. As it goes, those feelings are a part of you, but they aren’t what make you. In that regard, even if this is the only space you express it, be positive. Give people an honest chance to uncover all of who you are, rather than closing them off to that opportunity early.

9. Leave some things to the imagination

Although it can feel as if you need to explain your entire life story, family background and five-year plan straight away, only share what you are comfortable sharing with a stranger. You are under no obligation to cram every corner of your life into a profile box. In fact, leaving a little unsaid gives you both something to talk about over a drink.

Look forward as well as back. Mention a trip you are hoping to take, something you are learning this year, or what a good weekend together looks like – showing that there is genuine room in your life for someone new.

10. Be honest about yourself

Most importantly, be honest in your description about who you are and what you want. Though you want to express your best self, make sure it is also your authentic self.

Even if an amazing description gets you a ton of connections, if it doesn’t represent who you are then those connections are more likely to fizzle than flourish.

Putting it all together

It is always tricky to interview for a job, and it can feel just as daunting to write a dating profile, because both ask you to highlight your best qualities and sell yourself. Even so, creating a short description that feels warm, specific and honest is much simpler once you drop the clichés and talk like yourself.

While it can be tempting to exaggerate on your profile to get more matches, keep in mind that you are looking for someone you actually get on with in real life – and a shaky foundation of trust is no place to start.

When writing your dating profile, focus on being your authentic self. Express your interests, hobbies and values honestly and positively, and you will give the right person every reason to show up as their authentic self too.