We experience the online world largely through images, and dating apps are no exception. Before anyone reads your wittiest prompt answer or checks whether you share a weakness for Sunday roasts, your main photo decides whether they stop scrolling or carry straight on.
While you never want to lie, you do want to show yourself in the best light, displaying the attributes you are most proud of. You want the image to help embody who you are as a person and, in a way, entice any would-be romantic interest into selecting you in the hopes of learning more.
With that in mind, there are a few reliable ways to make sure your profile picture captures who you are and encourages the right people to get in touch. Here are ten practical steps to help you choose a main photo and supporting line-up that actually work.
Key takeaways
- Lead with a clear, solo photo taken in natural daylight where your face and eyes are easy to see.
- Ditch close-up bathroom mirror selfies and heavy smoothing filters in favour of a relaxed, genuine smile.
- Use your supporting photos to show your hobbies and social side, or use your phone’s self-timer at eye level if no one is around to play photographer.
Contents
1. Avoid Selfies
Let’s knock this one on the head first: it is almost never a good idea to use a standard arm’s-length selfie as your main profile picture. While selfies are the easiest pictures to take, close-up front-facing lenses distort your features, and a cluttered bathroom mirror is the fastest way to make someone scroll past.
The only time a selfie really earns its keep is alongside several stronger photos, and only if the background adds something genuinely interesting, such as standing in front of the Eiffel Tower so you at least look well-travelled. Outside of those moments, give the front camera a rest.
No photographer handy? Use your self-timer
If you do not want to ask a mate to stage a photoshoot in the park, prop your phone securely on a bookshelf, windowsill or coffee cup at roughly eye level. Set the camera’s 10-second timer or burst mode, take a few steps back and let it capture several frames while you relax your shoulders. You get the flattering distance of a portrait without the awkward outstretched arm.
2. Give a Natural Smile
The second rule is perhaps the simplest and the most effective: show your natural smile. Even if that means a wide grin where your eyes practically crease shut from sheer joy, it is still infinitely more inviting than a practised, raised-eyebrow ‘Blue Steel’ stare out of Zoolander.
Don’t be afraid to show your teeth, either. Warmth is contagious, and people naturally respond to someone who looks pleased to be there. Rather than forcing a stiff, performative grin for the camera, think of something that genuinely makes you laugh and let your expression settle the way it would when you greet a date at the bar.
3. Be Alone in the Picture
So, there is a little nuance with this tip. For example, if you have multiple pictures on your profile, it’s best to be sure that the first one has you and you alone. You never want to confuse a prospective partner by showing you along with three friends so that they have to play the guessing game.
Even if you feel slightly self-conscious about posting a solo portrait, hiding in a crowd makes you look hesitant. Put a clear picture of yourself front and centre for your opening shot, then use your remaining slots to include a photo or two with friends if your social life is an important part of who you are.
Green flags
- A clear, well-lit solo shot where you are immediately recognisable
- A relaxed, natural smile with your eyes visible (no dark sunglasses)
- Supporting photos that show genuine interests without hiding your face
Red flags
- Group photos first, forcing matches to guess which person in the stag or hen line-up is you
- Heavy smoothing filters or edits that alter your skin and bone structure
- Out-of-focus bathroom or car selfies taken from below the chin
4. Use a Good Quality Photo
First, make sure you have a good-quality, high-resolution photo. As mentioned before, try your best to avoid the selfies, but make sure that whatever picture you post, it has a certain visual clarity to it. Even if you don’t have the most high-end camera around, a majority of smartphone cameras nowadays have the megapixels to do just fine.
Think about the kinds of images that make you pause when you are browsing. Whether you are on holiday by the coast in Cornwall or stood outside a favourite pub in town, pick a crisp, uncropped image rather than a blurry screenshot zoomed in from a group night out.
5. Find the Right Lighting
You do not need a stiff corporate headshot that belongs on LinkedIn, but you do want the same level of clear, flattering light. A prospective match wants to see your face properly, so avoid grainy pub corners or harsh overhead shadows that obscure your eyes.
To keep your lovely face well-lit, try taking your profile picture outside during the daylight, with the sun closer to dawn or dusk to really put a glow upon your features. While a small change, the vividness that comes from good lighting can stop a scroller in their tracks and encourage them to explore further.
6. Be Judicious with Filters
When it comes to visual clarity, steer clear of heavy Snapchat lenses or beauty-smoothing filters on your dating profile. As tempting as it might be to use a preset that erases every laugh line or gives you a suspiciously airbrushed jawline, it is not an honest representation of how you look across a café table.
If you do use any colour grading, keep it light. A classic black-and-white shot can look great mid-way through a profile, whereas a heavily contrasted Instagram filter on your main photo tends to look like you are hiding something.
7. Be Active
Moving on to what you are actually doing in the frame, showing yourself in the middle of a favourite hobby is one of the easiest ways to spark a conversation.
If you love surfing, use a shot of you with your board on the beach; if you spend your weekends hillwalking, include a picture from the summit you just climbed.
When your profile allows multiple uploads, mix in a couple of different activities to round out the picture of your week. Just make sure that if an active shot is your primary photo, you are still close enough to the lens to be clearly seen, ideally with a candid laugh rather than a distant helmet and goggles.
8. Know Your Best Angles
Without getting bogged down in wardrobe rules, how the camera is positioned makes a noticeable difference. Hold or prop the lens at eye level – shooting from below your chin rarely does anyone any favours – and pay attention to which side of your face you feel captures you best.
Though it can feel slightly odd to analyse your own photos, one of the best things a profile picture can do is reflect how you look when you feel comfortable in your own skin.
Ultimately, the whole point of camera angles can be summarised in one simple rule: show yourself when you feel like your best self.
9. Don’t Focus on the Background
One of the most common things you might see on a dating site, other than selfies, is a number of people who try to hide themselves in the background. This is often done by either looking away from the camera, or making the wonderful vista the focal point of the image.
The people scrolling want to find you, not the places you’ve been or the activities you do. If they don’t like what they see then it’s not worth pursuing anyway. And, though you might not believe it, there is someone out there that will come alive just seeing an image of you and your natural smile alone.
10. Show Yourself Honestly
Finally, as the culmination of all the other tips, show yourself honestly. Whatever photo or series of photos you choose, do not retouch them to disguise who you are, and avoid apps that smooth away wrinkles or alter your complexion until you are practically unrecognisable.
While it is tempting to upload an idealised version of yourself – or a flattering photo from six years ago – in the way people sometimes do on social media, it rarely helps once you actually meet in person.
People scrolling through profiles want to see the real you, and if you disguise how you look, you risk attracting matches you don’t truly click with in real life.
You might get a few extra notifications in the short term, but the conversations will be built on shaky ground, and a brilliant potential match could lose trust before the first drink has even been ordered.
Bringing Your Profile Together
Choosing the right profile picture comes down to expressing who you are and what you enjoy in a clear, honest way. Take a sharp, well-lit photo and keep the focus firmly where it belongs: on you.
Pick recent images that show you at your most confident, give a glimpse of your everyday interests and reflect what you care about.
But the most important thing to remember is be honest with the image you offer, so you can create an honest connection with whoever clicks on it.
